Really Effing Awesome
by insaneantics21
Summary: Santana f---ing hates parties./ Quick, rough, drunk Pezberry. That's it. M for sex and overuse of the f-bomb.


Santana fucking hates parties. She's hated them ever since Puck's party at the end of her junior year of high school when Brittany broke up with her and went off to screw Mike Chang. But here she is, at a frat party on the UCLA campus, because her friends dragged her here insisting she'd have a good time. She's on her third beer and feeling a little buzzed. She hears cheers coming from the kitchen and so she walks in to investigate and sees some whore flat on her back on the kitchen counter and another whore sucking a tequila shot off the first whore's stomach.

"Fucking sluts," Santana growls and turns to go back to the room with the keg.

"Nice job, Berry!" one of the guys says.

"Yeah, Rach," another one says, "didn't think a pint size like you could hold your liquor like that!"

Santana stops dead in her tracks and turns around and sees frat guys fawning over Rachel "Gold fucking Star" Berry.

"What the fuck?" Santana gasps in absolute disbelief. When the fuck did Rachel come to California?

Rachel smiles up at all of the guys that are absolutely enamored with her and stumbles out of the kitchen right toward Santana. The short brunette trips over someone and lands right on the Latina, her beer goes everywhere.

"Watch it, Berry!" Santana growls.

"Santana!" Rachel grins and throws her arms around Santana's neck and the Latina tries really hard not to vomit down Rachel's back.

"Why the fuck are you in California?"

"I've been here since um…a while! You should do belly shots!"

Before Santana knows what's happening she's being dragged into the kitchen and Rachel is hopping up on the counter and lifting her shirt and there are guys whistling and tequila is being poured on Rachel's (very nice) stomach and someone else is putting salt on the girl's neck.

"Do it!" Rachel says with a giggle.

Santana looks around. She's surrounded by disgusting guys, she smells like beer and Rachel fucking Berry wants her to do a shot off her stomach. Her night couldn't get any worse so she shrugs and licks Rachel's neck and takes the shot from her stomach and the crowd cheers. Rachel tastes kind of like strawberries. Before she can think the Latina is yelling for another, and then another, and yet another. When the tequila bottle is empty Rachel hops up off the counter and meets Santana in a kiss. The Latina, once again, thinks her night can't get any worse so she goes with it and ignores the catcalls and whistles and her tongue duels with Rachel's.

"Gotta go!" Rachel shouts to the frat boys.

Santana is barely aware of Rachel pulling her through the frat house and upstairs, catcalls following them. The next thing she knows she is flat against a door and Rachel's lips are on hers again and now she's just pissed off because this is Rachel fucking Berry and Santana Lopez can do a lot better.

"What the fuck _-hic-_ are you doing Man Hands?" Santana hasn't hissed that in years and it feels kind of good.

"Oh fuck you, Lopez," Rachel slurs. "You've fucking wanted me since high school."

"Bullshit! Why the fuck are you in Cali?"

"Because I got kicked out of Julliard last semester. We going to do it or not?"

"Jesus, Berry…I can do better than you."

Santana turns to open the door but she's slammed against it and yet again, Rachel's lips are on hers and now she's _really_ pissed off but then again, Rachel's lips are really nice. So Santana gives in. But this won't be nice. Santana will show Rachel fucking Berry who is top dog. The Latina flips the pair around and shoves Rachel into the door and sinks her teeth into Rachel's neck and the brunette groans and claws at the Latina's shirt.  
Santana growls and literally rips open the front of Rachel's shirt, buttons go flying everywhere, and she grabs Rachel's breasts over her bra and roughly kneads them. Rachel growls and is still clawing at Santana's shirt so the Latina finally gives up and pulls it over her head and her hands go to Rachel's back and she fumbles with the clasp before she finally undoes it and the bra drops to the floor. She's not sure when hers joins it but it does and then she's pulling Rachel to one of the single beds in the room and shoving her on her back and biting everything she could find to bite.

The Latina growls when Rachel digs her fingernails into her back and Santana retaliates by biting down hard on one of Rachel's nipples and then soothing it with her tongue and repeating the process with the other and then switching back again. Her hands wander lower and underneath Rachel's skirt. She doesn't ask for permission, her fingertips just seek out the source of heat and wetness and she shoves two in. Rachel's hips buck and she shrieks and Santana starts thrusting and Rachel starts moaning for more so Santana obliges and pushes a third finger in and now Rachel is yelling words that until that night Santana didn't know the girl even had in her vocabulary.

"Fuck…Santana…Fuck! Harder! God fucking dammit…harder!"

Santana grunts and thrusts harder, practically pushing the girl across the bed, and Rachel finally seems to be satisfied with the pace so Santana keeps biting at her shoulders and her chest and her neck. She doesn't hear any complaints, just more swearing. She feels Rachel start to tighten around her fingers and the swearing gets more incoherent and Santana moves her thumb to swipe over Rachel's clit and the girl freezes and lets out one last deep moan as she comes. Santana's never felt anyone come this hard, ever, and she smirks at the fact that even drunk she's the one that did it.

"Jesus fucking Christ," Rachel slurs when Santana pulls her fingers out.

"Why'd you get kicked out of Julliard?" Santana lets slip before she can catch herself.

Rachel doesn't answer her question. Instead she forces the Latina on her back and Santana's a little scared at the look in Rachel's eyes and the brunette leans down and starts assaulting her neck and chest with her teeth, just like Santana had done to her earlier. Rachel's right hand keeps Santana's arms pinned above her head and her left goes to Santana's chest and roughly kneads her breast and pinches her nipple and the Latina hisses and bites down on Rachel's shoulder. Santana swears if nipples can bruise that hers will be by morning because Rachel has her mouth around the other one now and is biting and sucking furiously.

Santana's wrists are finally released and Rachel quickly undoes the Latina's tight jeans and works her hand down into them and into her underwear. Santana's almost embarrassed at how wet she is but she quickly gets over it when Rachel pushes what she's sure are three fingers inside of her and then growls at the lack of movement she can get due to the jeans. Rachel pulls her hand out and yanks Santana's jeans and underwear down her thighs and her hand resumes its position and she starts pumping her fingers in and out of the Latina and Santana's pretty sure she's about to come right then and there but she holds on because _fuck_ this feels good.

"Fuck…Berry…fuck!" is all she can manage to put together.

Rachel does some _thing_ with her fingers that makes Santana see gold fucking stars explode everywhere and then Rachel thrusts again and her mouth disappears and Santana tries to lift her head up to see but it's a dead giveaway where Rachel's mouth is when her teeth are suddenly latched onto Santana's clit and that's it. She lets go and her back arches and she's clawing at whatever she can and coming really, really hard and Rachel's still going until the very last shockwave pulses through her body. She can't open her eyes and she can barely feel her body but she does know that Rachel pulls her jeans up at least a little bit before her small body is next to hers.

Santana wakes up with a horrible headache, smelling like beer, and alone. She wonders if she dreamed the whole thing and when she rolls over to find a folded piece of paper sealed with a gold star sticker she knows she didn't.

"To answer your question: I got drunk, tagged one of the campus buildings, and then arrested for assaulting the responding officer because he scared me. It wouldn't have been so bad if the head of the deciding committee hadn't found out I slept with his daughter and then ignored her. I put my number in your phone. Call me, we'll do this again sometime ;-)"

Santana stares at the paper and smirks because, damn, Rachel fucking Berry has gone from complete dork to really fucking awesome. She finds her phone and Rachel's name is listed as "Really good sex". She immediately texts her.

"Drinks tonight?"

Santana smirks at the immediate response.

"Fuck yes. My place after."

Santana fucking loves parties.


End file.
